Notice

Some of these posts were transferred from other blogs whose titles I disliked. Their original post date is therefore listed within the text.

Stuck in the Griddle with You

(Wednesday, September 29, 2010) When I am forced to discipline one of my victims for some kind of misbehaviour, I make her sit on the couch and watch while I warm up my sadism on some dry waffles. She sits there in horror as I pull them apart with my bare hands, their skin crackling, their flesh falling as crumbs to my feet. And they think, if he can do that to a piece of toast, just imagine what he will do to me!
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© 2010. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

80's Hell Hair

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© 2010. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Oh Yeah?

You just watch it now, cause that little boy that you brutalized back in the schoolyard has grown into a full grown man! Are you listening out there, Christine? Christine McNicholl? I'm ready for you if you ever come after me again. I'm gonna kick you in the nuts. You ain't some delinquent that can have her way with me no more, dragging me around like a sack of potatoes and making me smell your shoe. Even though you're probably ten feet tall by now, I'm still ready to stand my ground. Watch out.
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© 2010. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Hey Book Reader

In Grade One, when we first learned to read in school, I had a head start somehow. My earliest reads, before school, were the funnies. Blondie. I knew the alphabet and sounded out the words. I thought Blondie was pronounced 'Blundye.' Later I advanced to child's encyclopedias. I thought Caeser was pronounced 'Kayser.' So, by the time I got to Grade One, when they handed my group a book with one crumby sentence on each page and asked us each to read out loud just one page, I refused. I read the whole book out loud, myself. I got into trouble for that. I missed my turn the first few rounds on the next book.
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© 2010. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

The Zodiac Killer

I've never come across such a difficult planet. Looks like we've exhausted all of our conventional options. Beam down the astrologist. (Bz-z-z-z-z-z-zh!) Are you the ship's astrologist? Yes. Can't you tell by my hat with all the stars and moons on it? Look up there and tell me if you can see anything. Sorry, captain. I can't make heads nor tails of it.
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© 2010. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Cute Little Pet Peeves

Friday, October 1, 2010 Things are going well for me these days, and I wouldn't want to give the wrong impression by posting a complaint, but I simply can't restrain myself in this case. It's these silly bouncing icons that line the bottom of my screen. They annoy the fuck out of me. It irks me as a computer programmer to see the computer's potential functionality compromised by a need to animate buttons. I'd rather have its memory in reserve for something else. It bugs me as an artist to see cute little images all standing in a row, all equal in height and width. They remind me of a family photo of my brothers in the 1960's when every young man looked like Buddy Holly. (You'll find me in the foreground, about to start crying.) Lastly, it troubles me that people think a computer is better because its icons bounce up and down when you click on them.
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© 2010. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.