Once Upon a Life

A wise old friend of mine once said something very profound to me. One is everything. Had I not dabbled in philosophy of religion in the years since I knew him, I might still be wondering what he meant by it. I believe it connects to the religious concept of the logos. But I also think it has a less sophisticated meaning; that is, a less esoteric meaning; that is, a meaning that can be commonly explained and understood. Unfortunately, I suck at parables. And my internal rhymer can't find any scheme to the words I must use to explain it. Nonetheless, I must try. The best way to explain it is from within the one life I know for sure to be real, my life. I think therefore I am, said Descartes, not bothering to add, 'but I'm not so sure about you, especially if you never think.' The best way to explain any sensitive topic is from within one's own life and experience. It lets everyone else decide for themselves. While I may live a solitary life, I seldom feel alone. With my mind I may stretch out across the whole world, even the whole universe. By thinking of others, I include them in my universe. It takes the edge off my loneliness. The times I suffer the most are when I lose sight of my life's primary realness and get caught up in the actions of those around me. It's like that Star Trek episode where Chekov got psyched out by that illusory bullet that was fired into his back. If only he'd have known. I'm not denying that others have the ability to inflict pain on me. When it happens, I conclude that it is helping me somehow, perhaps by strengthening my will. I make it part of my life. I accept it, and I try to grow from the experience. I'm not devaluing the apparent lives of those around me. They enrich my world - especially the pretty ladies. Suffering can be escaped or, at least, reduced by applying the 'one is everything' concept to these other people. You may turn your mind outward and try to imagine yourself in their place. If you're suffering and you look closely, you might notice that they are suffering right along with you. One is everything. Wow. That guy said a mouthful.
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© 2010. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Funny for You

For anyone who dislikes the songs I wrote for them in '08 and '09, let me once again explain my reasons for switching genres. I have no views and no comments. Since I'm interested in pleasing you, I thought it might be wise to look around and see what was popular in other videos and try to make mine more like them. All this has accomplished has been to lead me in a circle all the way back around to the stuff I started off with. In the meantime, while I struggled to please you, I got the distinct impression that the whole world thought I was a pathetic loser. No one would give me a job. I became depressed and had to go on disability. I found part-time work in the music industry as a forklift operator where some creepy shit happened to me that gave me nightmares. Then I was mysteriously released from that position and had to starve some more while I waited for mom and dad to send money. Every woman that passed me in the street seemed like they would rather spit on me than return my smile. My sex drive has been so crippled by them that I now consider myself permanently single, though I may still admire them from a safe distance. As long as I live, I will not understand how innocently sharing my songs could have brought me such overwhelming torment. And no one will ever explain to my satisfaction why, to this day, I have hardly received a single view or comment on my songs and blogs. But, for what it's worth, I'm tired of traveling in circles. I'm moving forward in a straight line, with the type of songs I'm writing now. And I'm quite surprised I'm still here to write about it.
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Star Trek Pilot: The Cage

They can't read through lust. Let me concentrate. I'm filling my head with lust. I'm filling my head with images of me pushing his alien face into the floor and having my way with the crease in the back of his over sized head!
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Knowing the Question

From a very early age, people have marveled at my ability to render images onto paper without losing proportion or line. I couldn't understand why everyone couldn't do it. Later on I learned about how the human brain is divided into two hemispheres. The left hemisphere is the centre for language and elementary deductions. The right hemisphere handles images and psychic hoo haw. Most actions originate on one side but require some interplay with the other side. The popular approach to problem solving is to analyze with the left side and make concrete deductions which lead to an evidence based conclusion. It's very scientific, and continues to be the prevailing, most credible method. This suggests that most people draw their information from their brains' left hemispheres. In the context of image rendering, it's the equivalent of dividing an image into squares and copying it one square at a time. More technical than sensual. And more time consuming than necessary for one like myself. An artist can usually reproduce images without resorting to such means. His hands, guided by the intuition of his right hemisphere, simply know where to go with the magic marker, chisel, or whatever other tool they might be using. An artist doesn't analyze the image. He knows it. Music, I've read, is all over the brain. I'll have to get back to you on that one.
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Family Breeds Contempt

After some slightly painful soul searching, I've come to the conclusion that I ought not to complain about coming from a large family. I was the seventh born. And I should be thankful I grew up in such a sheltered area. It kept my childhood innocent. And my mom is the sweetest lady you'd ever meet. Everyone who bought groceries at the A and P knew that. I'm extremely sorry for any indications I've made to the contrary over the course of my troubled writing career. I can be a bastard.
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Poker Face

One of my mom's friends, a member of her card playing gang who taught at my elementary school, told her a long time ago that her boy, David, though gifted, could sometimes hurt others without knowing it. It was such an odd remark that it stayed with me all these years. She might have been alluding to my obliviousness, caused by having multiple thoughts running through my brain at once. It mixes up the messages I send. By distracting me, it can also render insufficient the amount of feeling with which I deliver them. As a child who was particularly sensitive to others' suffering, I tended to withdraw into myself, in order to avoid pain. This could have been misunderstood by my peers and teachers. Through my creative process, I was able from an early age to convert my most combustible feelings into inert ones. This might have come across as coldness or numbness. Add to that the normal flaws of a young boy and I can see how this finding was made. Looking back on it, I don't mind apologizing to any injured parties. Hope the damage was not permanent.
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Over the Painbow

Friday, October 8, 2010 Tomorrow I shall open a new blog with a new bad title. I have to concentrate to come up with bad titles. They don't come naturally to me. I can't explain it, but I gather that the worst is behind me, in terms of my struggle for success in music. The last few years have been painful, but I do not turn from suffering, for it cleanses the soul. It makes you a better person; more sympathetic to others' suffering. Having overcome these hardships, I must again quote Nietzsche. 'That which does not kill me makes me stronger.'
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