String Theory

It's a good thing that I have my faith back because I need it, not just to accept what has happened to me in the last couple of years but to feel good about it - when I'm not burning my skin with lit cigarettes. If anyone hasn't yet noticed, my life has unfolded before me this year in a fashion which can only be described as miraculous. For months I have started each day with an ostensibly random thought or decision which has resulted in a precisely relived day from a bygone year. Faces and objects everywhere around me occupy identical positions to theirs from before. Situations and conversations turn out exactly as before. This has happened in spite of my spontaneous, welfare supported lifestyle. The year I and those around me have relived is 2007. And the power behind my phenomenal experience, I'm now certain, is the Hand of God. I may once have alluded to how the universe seemed to be forming and adjusting itself around me and my actions, but it's far more impressive to me now, with every last detail present to restore my memory as I go along. God has shown me, as gently as possible, that we are like puppets in his power. He can make us do or say whatever he wants if it serves his ends. Fear not, for his motives are fine. Yes, I have suffered, but suffering for my God is purposeful. It makes me wiser, more sympathetic to those in pain, a better songwriter, and, ultimately, stronger in my faith. Purposeful suffering is why I can accept my past failures. And it's why I can look upon the deeds of my detractors with forgiveness. Still, it would improve them to suffer severely. I say so out of love. Suffering for God is any kind of pain that appears pointless from a logical perspective. If we lose or deny our faith and post such thoughts to the web, everyone else who posts either nothing or recipes no one reads mercilessly hold us to our words as though they were a sacred oath. The other kind of suffering is self-imposed. It is the suffering we bring upon ourselves by acting wrongly. It is the evil that catches up with a child of God, born with a soul that feels and that can't be escaped. It's the shame that follows anger, the pride that gives way to humility, the emptiness of heart that fills a vault with gold, all the way to the damnation that comes from embracing evil. I'm sorry I didn't follow through from this point earlier on, but maybe now you can share in my joy. We've all been witness to a miracle. Trying to turn from God only made my faith stronger. His power is undeniable the second time around. I would be a fool to go back to atheism after this. I want to get busy and write new songs. And I want to get back out on a stage where a good puppet belongs.
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© 2010. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.