Happily Even After

Most of us, if we look into ourselves objectively, must admit that we are flawed in character. Perhaps this is an area where the Christian concept of original sin agrees with Freud, at least metaphorically. Because of this, being a nice person can be quite a challenge. It is more natural, therefore easier, to succumb to our primal selfishness and lust for power, just like we may prefer an easier job and look down on those who are struggling as 'losers'. On the surface, this seems to be the way to go, and a certain infamous dictator exploited it fully back in the 1930's when he used his evil genius to pit the strong against the weak. Added to this influence may be powerful external forces, such as poverty, loneliness, and the hell of other people, as Sartre put it. If any group should be free to grumble and act in an ill manner, it is the poor, for their poverty brings out the worst in them. By contrast, the rich, who may have large sums of money to spare for charity, are sometimes known as the beautiful people. What then can be gained from trying to be nice? Nice guys finish last, don't they? Here a distinction must be made between being nice and being a patsy, for being a patsy is not a very nice way to treat oneself. In order to answer the question, I needed to explore my own mind. Deep in my subconscious, scattered between countless abstract images and advertising jingles, I found almost all of the qualities that I resent in others. Lurking behind them was a monster, and I realized that my conscious mind acts as its cage. However far such a monster may advance within the competitive workplace, it cannot offer me any sense of inner peace; the peace that comes from rising above the urge to use and hurt others and thereby suffer guilt. And sensing this potential mean streak within me lets me see myself in those who would use and hurt me. It lets me forgive them, and I feel the better for it. My talent, too, if you want to call it that, helps me to be a nice guy. It lets me withdraw from any nastiness that may be present in the world around me, often with the result of improving my self image through the creation of art and music. When these methods fail, I turn to my sense of humour. It always feels good to laugh. And if, as one poet said, laughter comes from pain, who says it always has to be someone else's pain? Like any human, I am weak. I break down and start smashing things. This is what happens to me when I lose sight of my desire to be good. I can take full responsibility for it. I always come back around to my struggle for goodness in the end. No matter what my place in the world, I can find happiness and peace by letting go of my dark impulses and keeping my monster's cage tightly locked.
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© 2010. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.